the other girl

“The thing about meditation is: You become more and more like you.” -David Lynch

{dream} a succession of images, thoughts or emotions passing through the mind during sleep; a vision voluntarily indulged in while awake; an aspiration

I close my eyes and begin to fall deeply into a mindful meditation. Isolated, standing in the middle of a field. The strong, yet diverse, scent of wildflowers and lavender tickle my nose. Birds begin to chirp gayly in the background. A gentle, cool breeze whooshes in and I absorb the warm rays like the sun reaching out for a hug. I find comfort in its embrace. There is a shadow in the distance. I can’t fully grasp exactly what or who the shadow is. Is it an animal or another person? Will I be able to communicate with it? Do I know this thing?

The shadow slowly creeps it’s way toward me. As it approaches, I notice the slender, athletic like appearance. The shadow has thick, long locks similar to a horse’s mane. Reaching out, as if to shake my hand, the shadow stops. Carefully studying the shadow I conclude that it’s a young woman.

Fantasizing, I place the puzzle pieces together of who she might be. By no means is she perfect or expect to be perfect. That is unrealistic. Her stature reflects the countless miles ran and complex yoga poses practiced. Friday nights out on the town with her ever loving gang fill the bottomless memory bank. The same group that brings joy and laughter are swift to pick her up when she falls and starts to crack. They pray together, sing and dance together, giggle, cry and take shameless selfies together. Prince charming sweeps the young woman off her feet. He’s a strong, handsome, Godly man. More than she could ever imagine. His faith nearly takes her breath away as they read The Word and attend church together. Brunch dates and snuggle sessions fill her calendar. This charming gentleman and dashing young lady tackle the world as an impeccable pair. An aura of confidence, compassion and capability radiate from her appearance. I imagine the the shadow with a luscious garden and comfortable little apartment. A perky puppy greets her at the front door with a wagging tail and doggy breath. A stack of psychology and education books pile on her desk. Her agenda is filled with essay dates, presentations and work. At times, life gets overwhelming but the way the shadow carries the load is graceful and effortless. Mindfulness practices are permanent in her daily routine. Hot tea, journaling and a sappy romance book end her tiring day. She lives a life full of bliss and contentment.

I reach out for the shadow. My hand only inches away from the young woman. She reached out again as if wanting to be closer. The shadow is stuck in a pit full of yucky mud. Neither of us can move. It can’t stay like this forever. Patience and determination the deciding factor. What will be next?

“May I live like the lotus at ease in the muddy water”

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