“Everyone wants happiness and nobody wants pain but you can’t have rainbows without a little rain.” -unknown
Bottoms of clouds drop out and the cool salty water gushes down the house spout. It has been dark and dreary for days even weeks it seems like. Flower’s heads droop low seeming colorless, rabbits nestled in burrows, the universe’s soil muddy and gushy. Will the sun shine brightly again?
The rain begins to let up. It’s like the page has been flipped in that old, busted book. Dull, gray skies have developed into a soft, baby blue. Tiny critters have crawled out of their holes and the grass is greener than ever. Looking up, the most flawless rainbow spans across the sky. Red. Orange. Yellow. Green. Blue. Indigo. Violet. Each boldly radiating. No single color out does the other. A huge smile opens up across the universe’s face. Joy and livelihood descend out of the sadness and hurt. It’s unexpected. How could such a ravishing picture come from a “ugly” canvas?
Time. Patience. Persistence. Hope. Strength. Resources. Drudging through the troublesome days allow for the rainbows to be much sweeter and savored. Days like this remind the universe why it allows for treacherous storms and hurling winds. The peace and tranquility that calms the earth when the colorful semicircle spreads across the blue sheet overpowers the blackness.
Red, the battle between herself, the monster and ED. Orange, the warmth and creativity flowing out from within her touching each person she comes in contact with. Yellow, the energy the girl seeks out throughout the 24 hours. Green, the freshness of starting a new day. Blue, the faith and trust the young girl has in her Heavenly Father. Indigo, a color that can deepen a negative mood. Violet, holds the dreams and future she has set while also calming her emotions.
The young girl uses this metaphor to express her illness. Get out of bed, take meds, mosey on through the day, go home, take nighttime meds, struggle to sleep, repeat. Day in and day out. Religiously wrangling the monster. The sequence rarely strays. Storm clouds hover over similar to Eeyore. Time stops and the switch is flipped. She’s recovering from a night of crying due to laughing so hard. Part of the rainbow peaks out. Stepping out of the therapist’s office, a burden is lifted off of her shoulders. The session surprisingly well. Rush off to meet a friend. Indulge in fresh, juicy blueberry pancakes and protein filled omelettes. A lively dance party in the car as we venture to new places and are greeted with new acquaintances. More of the rainbow shines through the clouds. It’s time for wildberry lavender ice cream. Sweet aromas relax the mind. Sing-a-longs with her sister. That feeling being unbelievably happy that the heart might burst from so much joy and love. The face begins to hurt from smiling unapologetically and the rainbow has fully revealed itself.
Days like this remind her of why she fights so hard. The rainbow makes all of the dedication, tears, and pain worth it. Her pal makes a bold statement, “recovery sucks sometimes but days like this remind me why I choose and CONTINUE to choose recovery.” Without rain there is no rainbow. Even the worst days of recovery are far better than the best days of relapse. Each color is incorporated into her daily ritual. The young girl makes note of this rainbow day and stashed with the other precious jewels.
Genesis 9:13 “I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.”